One of my least favorite things to do ever is teach, especially in relief society. I don't mind being in the presidency and being in charge of activities and having meetings and going on visits. That is all peachy. Preaching to the choir is what I don't enjoy. There are so many suitable women other than me who would be perfect for the job. I have get to teach once every three months. When my month is drawing near so are my nerves, hives and anxiety levels. The week of my lesson is ridiculous. I can't even drive by the darn church building and not go into a seizure thinking about what is soon to come on Sunday. The only perk to 8am church is that I don't have to wait around all day to give the lesson that I prepared for hours but knows nobody will like it or they didn't relate or feel the spirit and that it was a complete waste for them to have had to sit and listen to my mumbling for 30 minutes. Am I being to hard on myself?
Anyway, after putting myself through this torture I finally came up with a solution. Back in the day when I was completing beauty school I was getting ready to take my state boards. One of my instructors told us that if you dressed and looked professional and like you know what you are doing then they will pay less attention to you while taking your practicals. Instead they will focus on the rag a muffins. So pretty much fake it til you make it. Genius. And I am here to tell you that it totally worked!
So, how was I going to apply that to a relief society lesson? We all know the quirky reputation that use LDS women have... dect out lesson tables! If I had a cute table scape then they won't pay a ton of attention to me but on my decorations! And if anything else it would make me look like I knew what I was talking about. So I put my plan to the test today.
No it wasn't over the top with an ice sculpture of the temple but a step up from the usual dry silk flowers that have been in the closet for years. I still put in lots of preparation time but I felt more relieved knowing that if my lesson was bombing they would at least have something pretty to look at. And it gave me an excuse to buy pretty flowers:) FYI, Trader Joes is the way to go for good, fresh, cheap flowers!
If you are wondering why I am sharing this with you well, it's because I found the best blog ever and I want to share it with you! When I am preparing my lessons I have to discipline myself to sit at the computer for at least 2 hrs with no interruptions (meaning no FB, email checks. yes I am that lame). Once I do my required length of time I reward myself with some pinterest and blog stalking! Last night I had just finished up my lesson, printed it off and sat down to look at some blogs. Who cares if it was midnight, I needed my reward!
Some how, some way I happened onto this ladies blog called Beehive and Birds Nest. Oh. My. Hysterical! This lady is something else. She is a mother of 6 and her blog is witty, sarcastic and humorous when she is talking about her every day life as being a mom. I'm pretty sure I read her blog for about an hour and the whole time I had to keep myself from busting up laughing and waking up the whole house.
I love how she loves being a mom but isn't afraid to point out the downside of having and raising children. That every day isn't going to be perfect and that she wished kids came with an on/off button. Because if they did she is pretty sure they would only be on for 20 minutes a day!
She had this great post called So you're stuck at home with a baby/toddler/preschooler, huh? It's about how you get to have lots of shopping trips at Target with the red limousine:
And a few things she's learned is that the sooner you give a kid a band-aid, the sooner he'll shut up. Or that there is no need for babies to read. But if someone could figure out how to get babies to scrub the bathroom floor then we might get on board.
And another one of my favorites:
Telling kids you can’t afford something is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s going to teach them that they can’t have whatever they want. It’s also the ultimate argument-ender:
Child: “Mommy, please can I get this [insert name of weird plastic animal with oversized head]. Please, please, pleeeeease???”
Mom: “No. If we buy it we won’t have money for bread. Although I’m sure zhu-zhu pets taste very good covered in peanut butter.”Child: “oh.”
See, this lady is classic! Maybe her blog was pulling on my heart strings a little this past week due to my uber sensitivity and stress level from my lesson and having whinny kids on top of it was not an option for me.
It didn't make me feel so bad that the only way I could get the boys to stop fighting and yelling at each other was to tell them that the neighbors can hear all that noise and they will think its mommy and daddy yelling so they will call the police thinking we are hurting them and will take us to jail. Worked like a charm....sadly.
Or that the only way I could get Rusty to stop screaming in the car was to pretend pull over and tell him that he will have to walk home if he doesn't stop. Also sadly worked like a charm. I really need to figure out a way to discipline my kids without instilling fear!
On top of being ridiculously funny she has some great DIY projects and good recipes. I am making her cinnamon rolls this week! I guess I have to look at my lesson as a win, win. I got to pray and study about being grateful in our everyday lives and I found me a great new blog to read:)
Her blog is here. Only do yourself a favor and read it during the day so you can laugh out loud.
6 comments:
Girl, you are WAY to hard on yourself!!!!!! Seriously, I'm sure you do a great job!! Your display was very cute :) I get sad when I people get this worked up over giving talks or lessons. Yes some people are better speakers than others but Shelley I know you and I know what you are capable of :) I do love when callings help us learn and grow though!!
PS are we going to play this summer??
I think you need a calling teaching every other week or something! ha! That will help calm your nerves. I thought I'd never get used to teaching Sunday School (and I was still a little nervous every time) but the hives (And I'm dead serious... I would get actual hives and red splotches all over my neck and chest that wouldn't leave for hours) went away after teaching for a couple of months. I want to hear one of your lessons. I agree with Leah.. you are WAY too hard on yourself. I'm sure they are great. Everyone can tell one someone has put time and effort into a lesson. It's the manual readers and monotone bores that drive people nuts.
I can't wait to look at that blog!! I have to speak this Sunday and it's about helping our children understand.... and I've already thought of a few funny opening lines to use, but it sounds like this blog will help me with more!
Oh, and for sure I use the "we don't have money" thing all the time! I feel a little bad saying it, but Collin has heard PLENTY of times in response to his whiny pleas, "Sorry, we don't have money" or "That's expensive... which means it costs lots of money. And we are poor". He used to scrunch up his nose and repeat quizzically, "We're poor?" And I'd nod and say, "Yep, we're poor." And he'd leave it at that. It's true... it works!!
If you're wondering why I can leave such a long comment it's because WE GOT INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! About 1 hr. ago. So I'm on way to blogging! :)
Oh my gosh I am dying because the lady whose blog you posted about is my aunt!! She lives in Texas and is married to my Moms brother. Crazy!
I wish I could hear some of your lessons...I'm sure you do a great job! Aaron was mad at me Friday night because I told Lily that Austin was going to take her away if she kept being naughty in Cafe Rio and she started crying :) Good times!
The Choir is the Choir because they've done what you're doing....accepting and fulfilling callings. Keep up the good work ~ you're awesome :)
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