Monday, January 12, 2015

Bryant Holmes

This is a hard post to write about it. But I write this blog as a form of journaling and memories. Not only for me, but for my children as well. And this is about a person who we were very near, and dear to. On October 28th, we received the devastating news that our brother in law, Bryant, was killed while driving his motorcycle on his way to work. He was a police officer for the city of Chandler and worked the afternoon/night shifts. After Casey told me over the phone, I really couldn't (didn't want to) believe it. I had JUST seen and talked to him not that long before. He had dropped off his boys to spend the night so he and Stephanie could celebrate their anniversary over the weekend. Instant sadness was all we could feel. He was the most caring, giving, loving person. A wonderful husband and father. Our kids are super close in age and play at their house the most out of anybody else. They knew him very well and always felt safe while with him. He was fun and spunky and his sense of humor was hysterical. Let's just say whenever you were around him you were in for some laughs and a good time! I dug into my blog archives and found this post about when went up to the snow with the Holmes. Rusty and Dallin were babies but he was always up to an adventure and made things fun! We miss him dearly. My kids ask all of the time if he will live in heaven forever. How wonderful that I get to say yes! I love that we have been taught and understand that our families are eternal. I can see the worry in their eyes at times. Not so much for their sake, but knowing that their cousins don't get to see their dad. It is hard for them because they know how sad it would be for them to not have a dad. But once we talk about how blessed we are to have temples to make special, sacred covenants in when we get married and that Bryant is happy and being a missionary. And that one day they WILL get to be with their dad again, you can see the relief on their faces. At such a young age they understand and find comfort in this knowledge! I am thankful for Bryant's on going example of the Plan of Salvation and of being obedient and doing all of the things he should have been doing while here on this earth. After the first night of shock came the events that needed to happen as far as funerals go. It is so hard to know what to do. You want to be helpful. So much needs to be done. Yet you feel so lost and the things you do, don't seem enough! I was feeling that way one night and somehow us sisters came up with the idea to decorate the street corner of where his accident happened. The kids were going to visit the accident sight for the first time later that day and we wanted to make it a more happy place for them instead of just a bare, street corner. I love that 2 months later, everything is still intact. In fact, more has been added to it by other people! It's like it is being watched over and protected.
Since Bryant was a police officer, everything was done in an honorable, respectful manner. It was amazing to see the outpouring of love and help from their ward, community and his police department. I have never seen anything like it! Whenever I was at their home there were policemen on watch guarding the house. Or escorting Stephanie to and from appointments. Fundraisers were being set up. Blue ribbons honoring fallen officers were tied onto trees in their neighborhood and on their house. Food was spilling out the front door. I was over helping with the kids when there was a knock on the door. It was the young women in their ward with baskets full of toys and notes for the kids to keep them busy and occupied during this hard time for them. My eyes were filled with tears constantly with the generosity of others. Simply amazing!! The night of the viewing we met at Stephanie's. They had police motorcycles there ready to escort family and friends to the stake center. Once we were there they had a room filled with food and drinks for if we got hungry. I loved watching how careful and meticulous they were when it came to moving Bryant. It didn't matter what the event was or how many people were watching. This was at the very end of the viewing. Everybody was pretty much gone. Casey and I for some reason were one of the last to leave the viewing. Which I was so grateful we were able to watch him being dismissed to go back to the mortuary. Even just to close the lid and take him to the car was an amazing process of guards and commands. It took about 20 minutes in all! I love how his blue eyes pop out in this picture. This was the motorcycle escort to the viewing. I wish I had better pictures because this was probably a fourth of them!
After everybody had left. Boy what a turn out he had! Just shows what a great guy he was!
The morning of the funeral was hard. Just gearing up for lots of tears! Even on the way to the church we would see motorcycles grouped together on their way to the funeral.
When we got there the building was PACKED! Police cars everywhere. Ushers guiding us to family parking. Greyhounds lined up and down the road for family to ride in to go the cemetery. It was so nice to see so many people wanting to pay their respects! The service was absolutely beautiful. The speakers had wonderful things they shared about Bryant and the spirit was strong! Many non members were there so I know others were touched through this whole experience. When it was over we walked outside to watch them roll out his casket and place it in the car to take to the cemetery. It was another spectacular moment watching all of the officers in their top notch uniforms. Standing so still and straight in line. There were helicopters hovering in the air recording the events live to the news stations. It really was all so surreal. You see and hear about things like this but never are you apart of it.
We loaded into the greyhounds to drive in the HUGE procession to the cemetery. Jimmy John's donated sack lunches for us to eat on the way. Just another small but big service that so many people rendered.
The most humbling part was the drive to his resting spot. Watching all of the people standing on the side of the road with their hands over their hearts as we drove by. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen! This boy with his dad was instant water works. They were actually standing right down the street from the stake center. We drove down a little then stopped for about 8-10 minutes. I don't know why, probably to make sure roads were getting blocked off. But while we sat there waiting for it to move again, they stood unmoved like that! For a little boy to not get restless and for a dad to take the time to get him out of school and let him experience something of this nature was so impressive and moving!
There were one hundred motorcycle leading the procession followed by the hurst, then the limo with Stephanie and the kids, then about 4 greyhounds mixed with police cars in between, then more police cars, normal cars, a fire truck. It was quite the procession! They closed off all of the streets and as I said before, watching everybody standing outside of their cars while we drove by, pedestrians with flags, signs...just truly spectacular! I stole some of these pictures off of the internet.
The service at the cemetery was really neat as well. Gun salutes, bag pipes, folding and presenting of the flag. A close officer friend sang a beautiful song and then they dedicated the grave.
We were then taken back to the stake center for late lunch, early dinner. It was about 4 o'clock and everybody was exhausted. I can't imagine how Stephanie was feeling at that point! An Italian restaurant donated their services and catered the food. The whole thing was very, very, nice! On the video with pictures they had playing one of the songs was Because I Have Been Given Much I Too Must Give. Stephanie's strength to give of her husband and the kids of their dad is far beyond me. She is one strong woman! As well as her 4 children. They have taken this massive trial in stride. Dwelling on the positive outcomes over the negatives. She is the one uplifting those who are struggling with his loss. I noticed her many times hugging and giving words of encouragement to those mourning on her shoulder. A true blessing she is to everyone! The worry of once the funeral is over, real life hits hard. Which is true. But the on going support they have received is remarkable! For one example our family went to a fundraiser put on by Yo-Waffle and Subway. They made it like a carnival with a bounce house, raffles and such. They had a horse to ride because they had heard Ashlyn LOVES horses. And Batman came for the boys. It was a good time! We wore our fallen officer shirts in support of Bryant!
We miss Bryant, and always will. It's definitely not the same without him. We are thankful for the love he always showed us. I hope he knew that we loved him very much and appreciated the good role he played in our family! We are thankful for his children and the part of him we see in them!

2 comments:

Anjane' said...

I have been thinking about all of you since I heard that this happened. I loved seeing the support going around the Internet. It was so neat to read your words about how well his family was taken care of! Also, the picture of the father and son with their hands on their hearts...what an example. I love you and am so sorry that you & your family members are having to endure this loss. I do agree that these things present the perfect opportunity to teach children more about the Plan of Salvation in a very personal way. Hugs to all of you!!!

Stephanie Evans said...

Oh man.... crying all over again. This was well written and something you'll be so grateful you recorded. I can't imagine the strength that Stephanie had. It's beyond heartbreaking. But the outpouring of support and love by the community and police department was INCREDIBLE. Honestly, I didn't know the half of it! Made me so grateful for this country. We are still praying for her and their family.